So this guy comes into my store and he's right away knocking shit over and clumsy apologizing and laughing. I'm like "Watch it Jerk!" And he's all giggle giggle. I get alot of wiseasses coming into my shop and stealing shit so I'm like watching this guy thinking he's like drunk or something. He goes down this aisle and five seconds later I hear this big crash and rolling clatter - And I think "Uup! There goes the soup can display! That mother fucker!"
I run down the aisle and he's all picking stuff up and giggling and I'm like just get what you need and get out. He's all "Get what I need" yup yupping and stuff - mocking me. So I fix the display as he does his shopping. At this point I figure this guy is fucking with me and I'm ready for the next thing. After ten minutes of shopping he brings his little basket of goodies up to the counter. He is all like looking at the things like he's never seen them before and asking me how much each item costs. I'm like "Look mother fucker I'm not in the moods for your stupid games!"
I dump out his basket out on the counter and start ringing stuff up quick-like and throwing it into a bag. He's all "Uh! Uh!" like upset over my handling of the groceries. After I'm done I'm like "$24.50" to this guy who is like staring at me. I'm like "$24.50 dickhead!" He like reaches into his pocket and pulls out this big handful of change and dumps it onto the counter. He's all "one...two.. three..." with the pennies... And at this point I've had enough - I jump over the counter and grab the guy's arm and spin him around half nelson style. He's all screaming and shit and I push him out the door head first and he like crashes down over the garbage can and all the garbage spills out over him and there was a milkshake in there that practically landed on his head. I'm like "And stay the fuck out dick!" I run back inside and grab his change off the counter and run out and throw it on him. "Asshole!" I yell.... Then this lady comes over and she's all "What the hell is wrong with you!?" I'm like "This cocksucker came into my store - knocked over displays! Wanted to pay with pennies! And was all laughing in my face!" She's like "He's mentally challenged you asshole!" I'm like "Damn right!" not knowing what she's talking about. And she's like "He's retarded!!!" And I'm like - "Oh... uh oh... oops..."
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